This is a very sensitive topic for many people, but with the holidays upon us, I feel compelled to express my own opinion about parents and their responsibility with regards to their children’s computing habits. If I seem harsh, it is because I am passionate about this topic. I don’t like big brother (in the form of the government) looking over anyone’s shoulder. I would like to minimize the need for government to regulate the activity of minors with computers. If that is to be the case, however, then parents must fulfill their own responsibility.
Learn more
The highest degree of responsibility that a parent has with regards to their child’s computer use is to know about and understand what they are doing. If you don’t understand it, how in the world can you hope to know whether or not it is appropriate, beneficial, harmful, or otherwise? If you don’t understand it, ask the child about it. If they seem defensive or scared that you are asking, you should probably probe deeper. Look online for information about a specific program they are using, ask their teacher, ask a technologically knowledgeable friend, or for that matter email me, and I will try to help. The bottom line here is you have to understand to be able to make an informed decision. Thinking that you are incapable of understanding is not an excuse – there are too many resources through classes at a community college or research online to allow for that sort of excuse.
Also on the topic of learning more, you should explore the parental controls, if any, that your Internet provider gives. As much as I don’t like them, providers like AOL and MSN have a high degree of parental control that can be exercised. Research and use the features as appropriate.
For more information about music downloading, one of the most common things that kids do on the net, see my article here.
Home computer location
In my opinion, no child living at home should have a computer with access to the Internet in their own room. If there are multiple children in a household, then set up a shared office workspace with multiple desks and computers that is in a public area. As long as the child is a minor and living in your home, you should know what they are doing on the computer – you are legally responsible for anything they do, in most cases, and at a minimum could be found criminally negligent for your child’s inappropriate behavior.
Monitoring
There are a number of software products on the market for monitoring children’s activities. The one I have liked the best is from Spectorsoft called Spector Pro. This application will monitor emails, keystrokes, instant messaging conversations, websites visited, and will even do screen captures at regular intervals. I know that many people don’t believe that a child deserves more trust than that. I understand the argument, but I don’t agree that children deserve any privacy FROM THEIR PARENTS with regard to their use of the computer. Further, I think parents should discuss this topic at length with their kids. If you inform them that you will monitor what they do and review their activity, they will be less likely to do something they shouldn’t.
Part of the reason for monitoring is for the child’s safety, as well. There have been quite a few publicized situations where minors have become involved with predatory individuals through instant messaging and chat rooms. I won’t go into more details here, but it should suffice to say that there are people that would like to meet young children and do them harm. I believe it is a parent’s responsibility to try and minimize the possibility of something like that happening.
Rights limitations
One of the best features for parents to ensure the stability of their computer, in addition to protecting their children, is the ability to assign rights to different users. I don’t believe children should have the ability to install applications on their computers without the parents’ knowledge. Windows XP has the ability to limit these rights, and parents should take the time to set them up. I will write a separate article on user rights assignment with screenshots for any parents who want to know more about this option. The basic principal is that it will keep a child from installing many applications that could be harmful to your computer, but like any such security measure, it will probably be less convenient for you when they ask you every time they want to download and install something.
Another way rights can be limited is by installing software to limit websites and other material that your child can access. There are quite a few out there, but some of the biggest are SurfControl, NetNanny, and CyberSitter.
Summary
I know some of the things I discuss here will be controversial. I also know that some people won’t like the inconveniences that come along with increasing the security of their computers to require children to ask permission before they do things. The inconvenience, though, is much less damaging than the consequences of not being involved in your child’s use of the computer.
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